Gamer

Gerard Butler, the guys who made Crank, Dexter, and Keira Knightley, what could go wrong? Plenty.

Gripes
I liked Crank. It had great fun characters, decent action, and it used the conventions of video gaming to tell a cinematic story. Now Gamer takes the conventions of 1st person shooters and makes a big pile of crap on the screen. I had no idea what was happening, or at least I didn't care. Most of the movie is all shaky and jump cutty like your watching it through a bad internet connection or something. There's lots of shooting and blowing things up but none of it is linear or logical so it's just shooting and blowing things up for the sake of making loud noises and flashes on the screen. When there is any dialogue, following in the 1st person shooter vain, it's all poorly scripted exposition that you could give a crap about. Dexter wants to control the world with nanites blah blah blah. There's no logic, there's barely a story, and the action sucks.

What Worked
There's some nudity but it's so pointless and shot to make it look horrible and ugly that it didn't need to be there. There'slots bloody violence but it looks fake and not in a fun way so it's useless. There's one hand to hand fight scene near the end of the film that felt linear and real, that's about it. Dexter does his Dexter thing but I can see that in Dexter and it's much more interesting there. So not much worked for me.

Mediocrity Scale
Below Mediocre, barely trying.

Better than Dungeons & Dragons?
I really didn't enjoy this movie. It's just that it so doesn't make any sense as a cohesive film, it's just a bunch of loud crap vomited up on the screen for the sake of being 'cool'. I think it comes close to being at least as bad as Dungeons and Dragons but it did have that one good fistacuffs and there is shooting of guns and peoples heads getting blown up and bare breasts, so at least it tried a bit harder than D&D.

Food
Some kind of 'Real Dairy' ice cream; tasty and creamy. And Cplus; which made me extremely thirsty for anything else.